I asked my mother for permission to vote at the Hyatt in New York. She dismissively explained, “Oh, it’s all rigged. It doesn’t even matter if you vote.” I am encircled by disillusioned Iranians expatriates. Fittingly, they are the least bit surprised by Ahmadinejad’s win. Within Iran, however, the youths and other reform-supporters seem terribly aggravated. As a result, protests are now unfurling in Tehran. My mother is asserting that the protests will soon stop. I pray to Khodah that they’ll continue.
June 15th 2009: Not going to Iran this summer? Only over my dead brown body will I be stopped.
Since I’ve grasped the structure and vices of this regime, I’ve been strictly taught not to discuss politics while in Iran. Curiosity can only be suppressed to a certain extent. Soon enough, inquiries will run from under the iron fist in zigzags and crude eagerness. When I was 13, I calculatingly stayed in my cousin’s bedroom, closed the door, and then broached the topic of regime support and the prospect of a revolution. While the invitees were reclining against the chairs with their wine and the women are dipping their heads in gossip, a 17-year old me turned to a companion and inquired after the Gay Pride movement in Iran. The youths with whom I have conversed gave me sparse responses. Now, it will be unavoidable to not discuss reformation. Would it be too optimistic of me to think that I might even get involved in a protest?
June 17th 2009: “Maman, unless things get really bad, we’re still going right?”
June 19th 2009: “All this needs to stop. They’re not organized. They have no real leader.”
A pregnant woman lost her child because it’s head was ripped apart by the bullet of a Basij soldier. My mother’s e-mail account has been bombarded with YouTube videos of worried screams and bleeding scalps. She is now calling my cousins in Iran. The continuing ringtone slits my smile. The winds of blood that once whirled in excitement are now raindrops falling down my chest. My cousins didn’t answer the phone. Are they out marching? It doesn’t seem like them to do such a thing. But if they are, I hope they’re okay.
Mousavi has been ensnared by these protests. Involuntarily he has become a symbol for this week of dissidence. Regardless of his progressive views on freedom of speech, women’s rights, Israel, foreign relations, etc., he is still a believer of the Revolution and the Islamic framework of the government. Whether it be Ahmadinejad or Mousavi, both of them still will act in accordance to the wishes of their Supreme Leader whether it be Khamenei or Rafsanjani. And it is the Shari’a-weilding power and authority of the Grand Ayatollah that essentially makes Iran a dictatorship. So … is anyone’s life worth only minimal reformation?
June 25th 2009: "Sogand, we're not going anymore."
Images: Curtis, Ben. Salemi,Vahid. Nikoubaz, Mortezal."Opposition Defies Protest Ban in Tehran." The New York Times. 2009. 15 June.
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